Current mood:

annoyed

i want my yoga dvd's to be here now. i've wanted these for so long, and now it looks like they will evade my grasp yet again. why is it that no one listens to me and just orders from the site? can't give Wai Lana the amazing woman who made the series the money can they. give it to walgreen's, they need some more money to support those stores on every other corner. give the money to some ass on ebay who probably stole the dvd's. just don't give thanks where thanks is deserved.
i still haven't applied anywhere. Josh keeps telling me i could work here or there and i groan. i'd rather be poor than work in another grocery store. i know that any job i can possibly get will be tedious, more than likely want me to change my hair, and won't pay for shit. those are the only jobs i can get though if i get employed at all. the bourgeois pipe up when i say this in real life rather than in my little journal that that's what happens when you don't go to college or worse, why don't i go to college now. at least the people being assholes and placing the blame squarely upon me comprehend that it's too late now, it doesn't make sense to spend tens of thousands of dollars and years of my life getting a degree when i plan to be a stay at home mom again in less than five years until that kid is in kindergarten at least - another eight to ten years right there. now if only the asshole bourgeois would understand that not everyone gets to go to college, and some people have more severe things to think about rather than school, i wouldn't have to say things like never mind or you wouldn't understand anyway. i think i've written all this in here before but i just needed to say it all again.
mom called earlier last week and was inquiring a bit about that dead horse everyone else keeps on beating. i don't know what to think of my parents not having a fucking clue as to who i am really. they don't know what i think about things. i don't have a desire for them to know me either. our conversations on the phone get as deep as what's been on the news recently. they don't know what music i listen to, what my favorite movies are, what books i have been reading. they don't know what i do for fun or whether or not i have any friends. they know as much about me as Josh's parents do. i told mom that what she's thinking of is me doing a whole lotta something in exchange for a whole lotta nothing, and that that isn't good business sense. she didn't want to hear it so i changed the subject.
so heres to hoping that i can find a tolerable job that won't make me change my hair or work crazy ass shifts that will interfere with being a parent. good luck to me.