Current mood:

listless

well the silly idea is just that. i thought about it on my own for a little while lnger and decided that things just aren't that desperate. if they ever do get that bad i'll give it a shot.
today i went to chipotle and got an application. i also got a call back from jack in the box. turning in the app later before i pick up Josh from work. i'm resentful i have to go to these places for work. i've been speaking with a very thin watery oxford / received pronunciation accent when i talk to people about jobs and so far i haven't gotten the usual hateful looks about the hair. i'm resentful because i know if i become employed there will be fights about money. as it stands whenever i spend money it's his and i was being frivolous, but if he spends or it goes in the bank then it's ours and it's sensible. i can't fucking enjoy the money no matter what.
i was really angry and upset earlier about having to apply for min wage and change who i am to hawk shit for yuppies to fast food fad and act like they are so much better than me when they are a fucking nobody and that's all that they will ever be never mind the fact that Josh can make in a single good night at work what i'd take home in a month at thirty hours a week eight a day at min wage... and then i got home and saw Uni and Graham. of course i'd work a shit job to save us all from a possible eviction, or water turn off / electric shutoff, etc.