Current mood:

distressed

i'm dragging my feet the entire way. hopefully i stumble and fall. at least then i won't get there.
i got a fucking call back for that 7 -11 for an interview today. of course the asshole had to call before Joshua left for work and was sitting right next to me after Ari had answered the phone. i should according to Joshua be pleased about that. i should be pleased that i am selling my labor for the least amount possible. i should be pleased that it will take me about one hundred hours of work to make one car payment. saying it sounds so ludicrous but typing that is almost unbelievable. too bad it's true.
my attitude is still there - if it's imperative that i work then work i shall. it isn't. it's just superfluous busy work to keep me in my place. i don't need to be reminded of why i am in the place i am in with my life. i think he just wants me out of the house to watch idiotic television shows i ridicule constantly. then he'll get his second job working part time and tell me i should quit that dumb one thinking i'd be grateful. and he would be thinking right. he'd make in a few days what i'd pull in the entire month. so why can't i just wait for him to get a second job when he will ask me to quit mine as soon as it happens? i don't know. maybe i should just ditch the interview.
and the fucking school. fucking school. they now need shot records again that they lost again saying again that she needs another shot. i think that they're just trying to make money for the district. Ari is acting up in computers again and her teacher called me to find out what is going on. i just can't deal with it today any of it. why can't this kid be good or her teacher punish her so i don't have to be the one to lay down the laws of others yet again?
yet i have to. i have to go out and do some grocery shopping then pick her from school and see Nancy her counselor. then i get to drive and drive and drive to pick up Joshua during rush hour and maybe get to that interview on time. then i have to answer his questions about it and try to remain calm. then i don't even know. i'm thinking about homemade pizzas and movies tonight - fuck it why not pizza rolls and a movie. less for me to clean up..